Harry Potter Characters, Gone Wild
by CrazzieAddict06
Summary: Another Insanely Inappropriate Epic of Trapped Characters, for all to behold. See as HP Characters Sleep Around, Explode with Randomess. As u Read....Explore the world of Muggles thru the eyes of the HP Characters, Gone Wild. (Rated R)THE ARMY!
1. Fun in the Cancun Sun

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Harry Potter Characters: Gone Wild.  
  
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More Insanity Brought to you by, Jaye!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Being that I am a series of Will and Grace Reruns, I do not own Harry Potter, or any of his other furry friends with socket wrenches, waiting to pop up at me from dark eerie corners.  
  
This fic contains inappropriate subjects and language. Do not say I did not warn you.  
  
Author's Note: This is not THE INSANITY OF UNTRAPPED CHARACTERS. I lost ideas for that, this will be the sequel instead, I cannot keep going with one thing for too long, but I hope u enjoy it, your favorite characters from The Insanity will be back, along with some new ones, like Arthur Weasley, Colin Creevy, Cho Chang, Neville Longbottom and Madam Pompfrey. Sirius, Remus, Draco, Ginny and Voldemort are back, and Harry Potter will be returning.  
  
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[ ] show actions.. ** show thoughts.  
  
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-Chapter One- Fun in the Cancun Sun  
  
Madam Pompfrey: Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.  
  
Cho: What the fuck are you talking about you loony old bat!!!! [Donates money to a humane society]  
  
Jaye: WELCOME RANDOM CHARACTERS.  
  
All: [Donate money to a humane society]  
  
Jaye: We have a new adventure set up for you all. You will be placed in the muggle world, trapped and forlorn with no way of getting back to wizardry. Yessum. Randomness will be insued, and many of you will die because I am Sadistic.  
  
All: [Applaud]  
  
Jaye: I have arranged for a plane to pick you all up at JFK airport, prompty about now.  
  
They all run to the airport in a fashion similar to that Kid from Home Alone 2. Christmas music starts playing and two SNEAKY characters are hidden, unseen behind a fat man near the snack bar. Suspense music plays, and yultide carols ring.  
  
Flight Attendant: Goos-Frabba. Gooooos Frabba.  
  
Colin: You worthless mother fucker, stop quoting Anger Management.  
  
Flight Attendant: Please board the Plane.  
  
On the plane, a muggle movie is playing on a television above them. They are all bewildered, and think that this is a practical joke. They all tell ghost stories and paint their nails an ugly shade of green. They all were discussing random topics.  
  
Ginny: Lets Go, my Cauldron Buddies!!!  
  
Ginny's Cauldron Buddies: Where are we going???  
  
Ginny: I don't know.  
  
Ginny and her cauldron buddies do a freaky dance, and consider suicide. They stop, realizing it would ruin the fic and upset Ginny Fans. They then write a 20 page essay, and name it Theo.  
  
Draco: Mama Mia!!! I see two sneaky characters aboard this plane!!!!  
  
Two Sneaky Characters: [Shag]  
  
Sirius: Ow, that's so wrong! S-P-I-R-I-T! SPIRIT! LETS HEAR IT! S-P-I-R-I- T! Come on Team! Spirit, lets hear it!!!!! Whooo!  
  
One Sneaky Character: I am sneaky.  
  
The Other Sneaky Character: No kidding.  
  
The Two Sneaky Characters: [Dissapear]  
  
Voldemort: Well that solves our Termite Problem [puts a can of Raid pesticide in a pocket of his Old Navy denim flares]  
  
Neville: Man, Morty, those are some nasty ass pants!  
  
Voldemort: [Death Glare] They make my ass look tight.  
  
Neville: [Looks] Wow. You're right.  
  
Sirus: So Remus, what are you going to be for Halloween this year?  
  
Remus: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrr....There's a Latino singer knocking on my window.  
  
Sirius: We are on a plane.  
  
Remus and Voldemort: Advanced Transfiguration.  
  
Sirius: I love cattle. This fic makes no sense anymore.  
  
Captain Guilliermo: We we be landing please buckle up.  
  
All: [Stand up in raving protest]  
  
The plane lands and they all fall, causing them to molest Captin Guilliermo, even though he was no where in sight.  
  
All: Where are we!?!?!?!  
  
Arthur Weasley:  
  
Jaye: Cancun Beach!! PARTY HARDY GUYS!!!!!  
  
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After landing in Cancun, the Characters decide they would split up during their vacation and drink water from the urinals at the Airport Facilities.  
  
Group 1: [Drinks Urinal Water]  
  
Group 2: [Drinks Urinal Water]  
  
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After they engage in this disturbing sequence, they remain in their groups, and tour the sight of Cancun. Group 1 consists of Draco, Cho, Pompfrey, Remus and Longbottom. They decide they will spend their vacation sleeping around with other people, and attending strip clubs.  
  
Group 2 consisted of Sirius, Voldemort, Colin, Harry, Ginny and Arthur who decided they would spend their vacation partying like there was no tomorrow, and doing heavy drugs. Realizing that all of this was terribly out of character, they embarked on their adventure.  
  
~*~*~*~*Group1*~*~*~*~  
  
Voldemort: Hello. I am a Princess.  
  
All in Group 1: You are not in our group.  
  
Voldie: Riight. [Leaves to do drugs]  
  
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-Draco's Point of View-  
  
Draco Malfoy had been walkin the streets of Cancun. The busy city lights made him feel like he was a distraught table lamp, plastered with molded cheddar cheese from last years New Year's party.  
  
He had separated himself from the rest of the group, when a throng of abusive history teachers pushed their way through the crowd. Draco did not know where to go. He had often run into crowds of obsessive fangirls. He slept with them all, because he is a male jiggalo.  
  
Draco ordered Buffalo Wings. Mild.  
  
Draco was tired of having affairs with sick 10 year old fangirls, so he moved on..Walking step after step, pulling guns on passerbys causing them to breakout in a fury of shock and acne.  
  
He offered them Nutrogena Acne Clenser.  
  
Then slept with them.  
  
Draco, realizing the whole point for him in this chapter, was to sleep with random people, continued to. He even slept with the male cast of the show Full House, which upset many people, including the Male cast of the show Full House.  
  
He Called 911. And slept with the operator.  
  
Draco was getting tired of this repetitive cycle. Everybody he talked to, he ended up engaging in sexual encounters with. He wondered how his group was faring. He wondered how group 2 was doing with their endless stream of illegal drugs and party going.  
  
He went to a strip club, because it was the next thing on his agenda. There he saw Madam Pompfrey bearing it all, dancing on table tops, apparently drunk. He thought to himself **this fic is disqusting** then joined Poppy Pomfrey for a strip duet. When he found the rest in the back watching a football game on a television set, they had all reported that they had slept around, and sighed contently as they ordered more beers while humming lullabies to their own anuses.  
  
~*~*~*~*Group 2*~*~*~*~  
  
Volemort: Hello. I am a Princess.  
  
All of Group 2: **blank stare** Get over yourself.  
  
Voldemort: Runs away and cuts off his Dick. (a/n: all Insanity of Trapped readers; it was reattached from last time)  
  
Sirius: Not again!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
-Arthurs Point of View-  
  
............................................................................ .... ........................................  
  
[Smokes Marajuana]  
  
........................................ ........................  
  
[Takes Steroids] ........................  
  
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-Ginny's Point of View-  
  
Ginny had been walking with her cattle-obsessed friend from Jaye's last fic, Sirius Black. According to the prophecy of this fanfiction, they were supposed to go to partys and use illegal drugs. There fore they set forth on their quest, past fragrent meadows and galloping avon ladies.  
  
Avon Lady: Hello! Here, could I intrest you in buying some eyeshadow.  
  
Sirius, who was standing next to her, purchased a gold eye shadow and painted tribal markings on his face, while listening to a Neil Diamond CD that his Mudblood Cousin got him for Hannukah.  
  
Ginny then found her drug dealer, Paul Robenstein. He was playing a Star Wars computer game, and doing calculus homework. He wore high socks in which he purchased from The Limited Too. They had green frogs on them.  
  
P. Robenstein provided her with the drugs, but Ginny payed attention in Health class (taught by Sevvie Snape, the tangerine muffin), and said "NO." We were all very proud of her.  
  
Sirius felt like a moron for even thinking about taking them, and tossed the drugs back at P. Robenstein. Robenstien fell over unconcious. All who were present, cackled like hyenas on a sugar high.  
  
Ginny was glad Sirius said no, so they hung out at the Mosque for sometime, trying to achieve MOKSHA. Needless to say, they were sucessful, so they wore white blouses and drove an ice cream truck, all around the streets of Cancun.  
  
From the Icecream truck, Ginny spotted Voldie, Colin and Harry who had taken so much illegal drugs that they were acting more odd than usual.  
  
Harry: Chickie Chickie Whoot de doop da! Im a clicky clicky red pen!!!!  
  
Voldie: Ohhhh Billy Jean is not mah lover. She's just a girl,claimin I am the one..ooh the kid is not my son! [does the moonwalk and crashes into Cedric Diggory]  
  
Sirius: I thought you died?  
  
Cedric: I thought YOU died?  
  
Cedric and Sirius: [shrug and hug each other in a manly fashion]  
  
Colin: Dodgeball anybody?  
  
[They engage in a game of Dodgeball]  
  
Jaye: Okay you sick druggies! Lets go meet up with the other group.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~All~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Sun was sinking low in the Mexican sky. The Harry Potter Characters realized that their vacation would end as soon as Jaye closed the chapter. They began getting dark and angsty. Colin slit his wrists in mad attempt to stay in Cancun and cause more personal harm to himself. But of course, the fic must procede.  
  
They all looked at each other, with solemn, sad eyes. Half were drugged, half had STDs. None, however, seemed to want to return back to life of happiness or joy. I don't blame them. Jaye was in the process of convincing them it would be good for them. But nothing seemed to cure these gloomy, sullen faces.  
  
Remus, who began to see sense: Well I suppose I've had enough intercourse for one night. There is always next chapter.  
  
Longbottom: This is a sick, perverted fic, Jaye. I wanna wear J-Lo Perfume and hum Sea Chantes.  
  
Neville does just that.  
  
Jaye: Yeah I know.  
  
All: [Nod in agreement with Remus. Some mutter "yea.true.there always is nextime.."]  
  
Jaye: See! Don't be so down in the dumps! There'll be more adventures!  
  
Cho: Okay, but I hope I die soon. I am annoying bitch in the Harry Potter series.  
  
Harry: Fiddle Away, Carlo!  
  
Jaye: Draco!!! Help me close this chapter!  
  
Sirius: Didn't I used to?  
  
Jaye: Okay Black, u can help too!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~The Closing of the Chapter~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Draco: Today was fun, I got to be a Mexican Jiggalo, but what happens when you let the insane gang of us, Led by Jaye into an elementary school to teach Sex Ed, and cause havoc of other sorts? Well..  
  
Sirius: Hey, ass...let me tell the rest! Well..you'll just have to see for yourself. Yes, that means YOU the reviewer has to click on that purple "Submit Review" button and try and help Jaye out by providing comments, sugguestions, or flattering blurbs of insanity. Let us know wut u liked and what should be added.  
  
Draco: Also, would I look nice as a crossdresser named Laverne?  
  
All: [Ignore sick comment]  
  
Jaye: Well I hope you liked the sequel-ish thing. If you havent read the Insanity Of Trapped Characters, I recommend that you do.Try not to flame me. Thnx. Anyway, I hope it measured up okay to The Insanity, and you will like it as much as you did that one (if u liked it). Im tryin sumthin different, give me ur opionions. UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU!!!!!  
  
Erm... right then. Just review!  
  
(Yes... u may also review and vote for the ones you'd like out of the fic! Happy Voting!) 


	2. Remus Lupin Watches POTC

HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS GONE WILD  
  
Chapter 2: Important Notice  
  
*lights are dimmed and depressing Neil Diamond music is played in the background*  
  
Author: First of all, i would like to extend my apologies, i haven't been updating. Because truth be told i am awful with Sequels, and have never been able to write a sucessful one, i prefer epilouges. Therefore i will probably not be writing anymore in this (if you couldn't have already guessed) Pehraps if the urge strikes up again i will.  
  
Draco: You know. . .fanfiction.net doesnt really approve of this whole long author's note thingie now.  
  
Author: This is not an authors note. See, i have prepared a short story as this chapter, therefore it is certainly not an authors note.  
  
-*-Chapter 2-Remus Lupin Watches POTC-*-  
  
Remus Lupin settled himself comfortably in the shrieking shack with his buddies Sirius and James and sat around the DVD player with a bowl of popcorn.  
  
James looked up from his popcorn "So Moony, what are we up to with all these muggle devices?" He ate a handful of Blockbuster Extra Buttered popcorn and plopped down on the couch  
  
"Well" Remus responded "We are going to watch Pirates of the Carribean"  
  
"Cool." Replied Sirius.  
  
And so it was settled. They watched Pirates of The Carribean.  
  
The End. (for now!) 


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